Who tf am I???
>Good question. Still kinda figuring out that one myself.
>My name is Jackson, but If we know each other you can just call me Jax, I prefer it in most casual situations.
>23.
>INTP-T, Type 4 and 2 personality, possibly 2w1 or 4w3.
>Leftist, not liberal.
>What's New: I will soon finally move out of Utah, and am currently in the process of securing employment and relocating to Denver, Colorado. I’ve also recently got my start in doing freelance stage lighting for small shows and events. It’s been some of the hardest, most rewarding work I’ve done in my life, and I think it will be a great way to meet talented and creative people, as well as helping to find community and friends in my new city. I hope I can continue to do so and one day turn it into some kind of decent paying part or even full time job, without having to travel constantly to do so(I want to be able to have consistent living spaces and relationships lol).
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>If you were to ask me what I value most, what gives me the most reason to keep moving and living, my likely answer would be Music. It doesn’t matter if I’m listening by myself, with someone I care about, or experiencing live music and shows with complete strangers, it utterly consumes my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I myself am not a musician and haven’t made music, though one day when I have more free time I would love to give it a shot. Regardless of that, music, especially when experienced with others, those you love and care about, your local communities, is probably my greatest joy in life. Becoming obsessed with live music in 2023 is probably the single most life changing thing I’ve ever done. Almost all of my friends I have met over the past few years have been through live music, either directly or indirectly. Sometimes I think my dream career would maybe revolve around live music and the production that goes into live events, whether it be the technical or people-focused/promoting aspects. I want others to experience the same joy and emotions I did when I started seeing live music, realizing how many people share the same interest in weird, chronically online, hardcore, niche, or any other music genres as I do. It makes me feel so much less alone than I had felt for most of my life, when I realized my experiences and struggles, my obsessions and quirks, are actually shared by way more people than I thought.
>Secondary to music, I also derive much of my fulfillment and happiness in life from indulging the people around me. I’m truly a people pleaser, to a fault at times, but I think it’s led to vastly more positive relationships and friendships than not doing so. This ties into one of my overarching themes in life, which is having a vast breadth of experiences. I'd rather not die having regrets about the things I didn’t do, try, or take my best shot at. By indulging those around me, I don’t just mean letting them tell me all about their interests, obsessions, and desires, but actively engaging in them myself. I’ve found so many interests, hobbies, artists and bands, media, innumerable things that I may not have discovered otherwise from doing so. It’s also a super easy way to strengthen any kind of relationship, because who doesn’t want to talk about why they love something, what got them into it, and what it means to them? Everyone I see online or on dating apps loves to talk about how they love to yap about their interests, how they’re a D1 yapper, or any of the million equivalent phrases I’ve seen. But what about the opposite? Can you listen to someone yap for hours? Have you ever stood in the freezing cold for three hours after a show listening to someone weave their life story into something as unsuspecting as an interest in a band or tv show? It’s one of my great joys in life, and it will always be a part of who I am.
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>Outside of working full time and lighting tech side gigs, my free time these days is mainly spent gaming(more on that below), weightlifting, seeing obscene amounts of live music duh(especially local artists and scenes), eating out and trying new food, playing logic/puzzle games, snowboarding, scuba diving(when I can afford it lol), occasionally hiking, my pets(more on that below), doomscrolling instagram reels brainrot, sometimes making and posting brainrot myself, indulging leftist politics and getting sad about the state of the country, and reading(mostly nonfic political shit or existential sci-fi, occasionally poetry).
>Alongside those main activities are my obvious in-between activities like listening to music which I do pretty much all the time, in 2025 I listened to spotify for 80,000 total hours, meaning:
80,000 hours = 55 days
335 days in music year(since Spotify data collection ended sometime in November)
55/335 = .164 = 16% of my year spent listening to music.
That’s not even including music I listen to when I’m with friends or going out. Yes I am insane.
Anyways, besides music I love watching all kinds of youtube videos, movies, and tv shows. Much like my music taste, I don’t stick to particular genres or themes, whatever sounds interesting I will consume it. I don’t follow much sports stuff except the Buffalo Bills NFL team and a few esports titles, mainly Rainbow Six Siege Pro League, and teams like Spacestation Gaming and Flyquest.
Favorite Movies
-Arrival
-Interstellar
-Tron: Legacy
-Everything Everywhere All at Once
-Hellraiser
-Fight Club
-Real Steel
-The Lobster
-Blair Witch Project
-Hunger Games 1 + 2
-Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
-Zoolander
-Jurassic Park 3
-Secretary
-The Taking of Deborah Logan
-Hackers(1995)
-Scream
-Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
-Pacific Rim
-Skinamarink(Scariest movie ever IMO)
-Hachi(Saddest movie ever IMO)
-The Hunt for Red October
-Ocean's 11
Favorite TV Shows/Anime
-Neon Genesis Evangelion
-MTV Scream
-Code Geass
-Utopia(2013-14)
-Attack on Titan
-House MD(for the yaoi)
-Beastars
-Slasher
-Blue Eye Samurai
-Initial D
-Ghost Stories
-Love Death + Robots
-Invader Zim
-Death Note
-Aggretsuko
-Devilman Crybaby
-The Haunting of Hill House
Favorite Books
-Paradise Lost
-The Brothers Karamazov
-The Ring
-Crime and Punishment
-Snow Crash
-Poems for the Lost Because I'm Lost Too
-Geometry for Ocelots
-Hunger Games Trilogy
-Warrior Cats
-Bullshit Jobs
-Advertising Shits in Your Head
Favorite Video Games
-Stardew Valley
-Undertale/Deltarune
-Anything FNAF mostly up to Pizzeria Simulator
-Rainbow Six Siege
-YIIK: A Postmodern RPG
-Ultrakill
-Anything Kirby related
-Fortnite
-No Man's Sky
-Satisfactory
-Roblox
Favorite Creators & Youtube Channels/Series(not exhaustive)
-Anything made by Michael Stevens(Vsauce), Hank Green, Alec Watson(Technology Connections), or Louis Rossmann
-Exurb1a, Aztrosist, Apandah, JSchlatt, Kraut, Machinot, NileRed, Not Just Bikes, Summoning Salt, Markiplier, Lemmino, Justin Whang, Wendigoon, Sleep Deprived/Banana Channel, Danny Gonzales, Drew Gooden, among tons of others I just can’t remember right now or don’t watch as much as I used to.
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>Pets - I am currently raising two rainbow stag beetles which are in their pupal stage. Once they molt and emerge, one will hopefully be a shiny chrome green, the other a similar luster of purple. I want to have more pet bugs, nothing crazy though, maybe a millipede or some isopods. After I move to Denver I want to get a pet cat from a local shelter. I need a cat in my life. After that I’d reconsider my dream of having two pet snakes, one white BEL ball python, one mexican black kingsnake, and I can name them something cringe like yin and yang. After that, long term(or if I ever own a house lol) I want some fish. Something bioactive preferably so I can have some cute bottom dwelling creatures like shrimp or corys. I mean I could get fish now or after moving if I wanted, but moving fish tanks around before securing long term housing sounds like a nightmare.
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>Things I want to try or further improve at eventually: Drawing and digital art, video editing, music production, possibly trying to program a video game, and learning how to book/promote shows and live music for local artists.
>I do not have new years resolutions, instead opting for yearly themes which are much more effective(see CGP Grey’s youtube video on it). For 2026 I’m reusing a theme from a few years ago which is Punctuality. It doesn’t just mean being on time for stuff, to me it includes not waiting to go after my dreams, things I want, not being indecisive all the time, basically not procrastinating in all aspects of life like I can do sometimes #adhdmoment.
**2026 Goals**
- Move to Denver
- Find a pet cat at a local shelter
- Start learning Ableton and music production for fun
- Continue to work on lighting stuff and get more gigs, larger shows and clubs
- Make new friends especially other creative types
- Start working on Bug Mag once I have decent connections and feel part of local community
- Learn how to book and promote local shows from people in Denver who already do it, or from UT friends
- Go to the gym 3x a week
Bucket List
-Own a house(lol) with a chicken coop and Koi pond in the backyard, including a back porch/patio that’s been turned into a semi-outdoor living space for my cats with netting or something.
-Hunt Lionfish(invasive destructive species in all of the Atlantic) on a scuba diving trip, cook the fish I catch because apparently it tastes really good.
-Go snowboarding in Europe, specifically Italy, France, and Switzerland
-Go snowboarding in Japan
-Ride public transportation in the Netherlands, Switzerland, South Korea, Japan
-Own a bidet
-Have a huge fish tank so I can ethically keep tiny bottom-dwelling shark species like epaulette sharks, bamboo sharks, catsharks, etc.
-Move out of the country for good, maybe to Australia or one of the Nordic countries.